Are you spending most of your weekends alone, but you don’t want to be? Then it’s time to do a little self-exploration. Either you’re just really bad at picking dates or there’s a reason why no one wants to be around you. Let’s take a look at five ways you’re sabotaging your relationships.
1. You’re indifferent
Staying cool, calm, and collected might work for a job interview, but it doesn’t cut it in the dating world. If you genuinely like someone, say it. Don’t hide your feelings in an effort to look like you have it all together or to avoid the risk of looking like a fool. Smile and show that you are enjoying your date’s company. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. Just being your awkward, funny self can be the most attractive thing. If you miss your date, say so. If you’re looking forward to spending time together again, share that. Letting someone know you care is enough to make their heart melt.
2. You’re mean
It’s never OK to be rude. Don’t forget common courtesy, like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Also remember to be polite to those who serve you. Just because someone is holding your door or bringing a meal to your table does not give you the right to release vitriol whenever you please. Think before you speak, and don’t forget to add a little bit of patience and kindness. A little niceness can go a long way. If you insist on being mean and consistently turn a blind eye to the needs of others, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you will spend a lot of time alone.
3. You don’t take care of yourself
Grooming — whether or not you’re going on a date — is a must. And when you are on a date, being well groomed has even more of an impact. Make your date look good. There’s no shame in wanting people to be just a little jealous of your date because you’re looking like a major hottie. Look your best at all times. That means you should pay attention to the small details like your nails, hair, and accessories. Make an effort to style yourself not only so that you can look attractive but also so that you can feel good about yourself. Going the extra mile when it comes to your appearance shows that you care. When you look sloppy, it sends the message that you are not invested in either yourself or the relationship.
4. You’re following outdated rules
There’s the three-date rule, the 24-hour rule, the three month rule, and on it goes. Stop living by crazy rules and start enjoying your life. All of this rule following will just leave you frustrated and involved in a highly superficial relationship. Be yourself and let nature take its course.
5. You’re picky
You’ll be alone for a long time if you have unrealistic expectations | Source: iStock
There are no perfect people. If you’re waiting for the next best thing to come along, you’ll be waiting for a very, very long time. Accept that there will be some flaws you’ll just have to deal with. Only you can decide what’s tolerable, but don’t be extreme once you do make a decision. If you don’t have any plans to settle down and get married, then be picky. But if you want to eventually tie the knot, you’ll have to stop looking so hard for what’s bad in others and start looking more at yourself and your reasons for magnifying everyone else’s shortcomings. You might be the problem.