We talk a lot about weddings here, but what about after the honeymoon? Start off your married life right by avoiding these don’ts.
Don’t live with anyone else…if one of you doesn’t like the roommate(s).
I know plenty of newlyweds who moved in with Mom and Dad during those first postnuptial weeks (while they figured out more permanent housing plans). And guess what? They actually enjoyed themselves! But any bad blood between one half of the couple and the person or people sharing the space would make that living arrangement disastrous. Dreading going home to your husband is not a way to begin a marriage.
Don’t take a trip without your spouse…if you can avoid it.
Sometimes this just isn’t possible. Work obligations may pull you away. So might a friend or relative’s destination bachelorette party. But the beginning of your marriage is an exciting time that you’ll want to spend together, not apart. It’s totally cool to tell your across-the-country friends that you’d like to wait until you’re more settled to fly out for a visit.
Don’t do any major home renovations…if the roof isn’t leaking.
Moving is a pain. But if you’re not living together before you get married, you don’t have much choice but to move, and you’re actually looking forward to the big change. Renovations, on the other hand, can wait. And they should–besides relocating and maybe wedding planning, there are few things more stressful than renovating (unless you or your spouse is super-handy and you have plenty of space in your home to spread out). You want your honeymoon bliss to last through those first weeks of marriage. Retiling a floor is a sure way to end the Zen.
Don’t fight about wedding things.
Once you’re married, your wedding is in the past (duh). Even if you’re still miffed that your now-spouse vetoed pink shirts for the groomsmen, it’s time to get over it. Marriage will bring about much bigger battles (trust me), so let go of these little wedding arguments as soon as possible and enjoy the conflict-free zone while it lasts.
Don’t invite anyone to stay with you for an extended period of time.
Even if you have a solid premarital foundation, the beginning of your marriage isn’t the time to let your little brother take up residence on your futon. There’s something so special about coming into the home you share with your new spouse and knowing that a whole night is ahead of you to spend alone. It’ll still feel special the farther you get into marriage but not as new and different. Why would you want to miss out on that once-in-a-lifetime feeling?
Don’t give up.
Sadly, I’ve heard of couples who called it quits shortly after the honeymoon. Barring a big, horrible lie he’s told or a newly discovered violent streak, give your marriage a chance. You did think long and hard about settling down with this person and then promise to stay together through thick and thin, didn’t you? Marriage isn’t always easy, but if you’ve picked the right person, it’s worth fighting for.